Mets Geek column: The Mets in pop culture

Check out my latest Mets Geek column, where I look at the Mets impact on pop culture. It's a long read, but I think it's worth it. Keith Hernandez's "Seinfeld" performance, Bernard Gilkey's "Men in Black" cameo and Darryl Strawberry's appearance on "The Simpsons" are covered. This was fun to write, as pop culture is my other major area of interest in addition to baseball.

Also, I promise no more A-Rod stuff.

Links: Closer Music, Schneider's Defense, Hall of Fame, and a Rickey Drinking Game

Here's some links while wondering if Francisco Rodriguez loves the smell of napalm in the morning:

1) SNY's Ted Berg makes some non-traditional suggestions for Francisco Rodriguez's entrance music. Here is part 1 and here is part 2. These are my favorites:

"1. 4'33" - John Cage: Cage's piece, for the unfamiliar, consists of four minutes and thirty three seconds of no music at all. This would require a whole lot of fan participation. If everyone -- every fan, every vender, every usher, every bathroom attendant -- could remain silent while the pitcher walked in from the bullpen and threw his warm-ups, well, that'd be about as badass an entrance as I could imagine.

1. Ride of the Valkyries - Richard Wagner: As far as I know, no closer has even considered something classical and so, while using "Ride of the Valkyries" to herald impending doom a la Apocalypse Now may be old news in some settings, on a baseball field it'd be brand new. And triumphant."

Can't argue with his #1 choice - I wrote a few months back that Ride of the Valkyries would be my entrance music.

2) Adam Rubin at the Daily News posted a reader's email which claimed that Brian Schneider was the cause of the Mets bullpen failures in 2008. The stats presented seemed cherry-picked and strange to me, but before I could take a closer look samt at Amazin' Avenue posted a rebuttal. Needless to say, I'm with samt on this one - Schneider is not Ivan Rodriguez behind the plate, but he certainly did not make Aaron Heilman and Pedro Feliciano serve up gopher balls last summer.

3) The 70 year-old Hall of Fame voter named Corky Simpson who left Rickey Henderson off of his ballot regrets doing so. He says it was just an oversight and not an attempt to make a statement. Apparently he does not regret including Matt Williams on his ballot. Additionally, Simpson has some choice words for the Internet and presumably bloggers:

"I think of the literature on the Internet in the same way that I think of the literature on the walls of public bathrooms. With the exception that the literature on the walls of public bathrooms is a little higher class."

And

"The Internet is like a sewer. It’s very necessary, but you wouldn’t want to spend a lot of time there."

Someone please tell me why people like this are determining who gets into the Baseball Hall of Fame.

4) Fantasy baseball website Razzball gives us the "Rickey Henderson Hall of Fame Speech Drinking Game." It's pretty hilarious and my favorite is:

"Tells a story using himself in the 3rd person: chug a beer"

Better get a 30-rack ready for Rickey's big speech.

Don't get cheap on me Jeff Wilpon

The economy sucks, and I fear that the Mets will use it as an excuse for not spending this offseason. This excuse would be unacceptable, as the Mets were 2nd in baseball in attendance and 3rd in average ticket price in 2008. They have a TV network and a brand new stadium, featuring higher ticket prices but with about 10,000 fewer seats.

The Mets 2008 payroll was about $138-140 million. By my calculation, the projected 2009 payroll based only on players currently under contract is about $100-$102 million. This includes predictions about future raises to guys like Ryan Church and Aaron Heilman, as well as money still owed Billy Wagner. This leaves, conservatively, $36 million available for spending if they wanted to simply meet 2008's payroll. The luxury tax level is $162 million for 2009.

$36 million is no small chunk of change to work with, and I think they should be able to spend maybe $45 million without significantly hurting their financial statements. (Note: I have not inspected the Mets' books, so my $45 million figure is pretty arbitrary. I do think a $148 million 2009 payroll is reasonable though.) With this assumption, I see no reason why the Mets shouldn't be able to offer the following:

- 4 years, $60 million to Derek Lowe
- 2 years, $20 million to Brian Fuentes
- 2 years, $24 million to Adam Dunn or Pat Burrell

This comes to roughly $37 million, leaving a few million for scrap heap bullpen signings as well. Lowe and Fuentes were offered arbitration so the Mets would lose 2 draft picks if both signed. However, when another team unwisely signs Oliver Perez for like 4 years and $50 million, the Mets would get 2 picks in return. Some might balk at paying Lowe $15 million a season, but even this amount might be lower than what he's actually worth. I'm all for trading for Huston Street, if possible.

The crappy economy is indeed crappy. I have witnessed it's wrath firsthand in the form of layoffs of friends and 401(k) value decreases. However, if the Mets use it as a crutch for not spending this offseason, I'm going to call B.S. To paraphrase Dennis Nedry (as played by Wayne Knight) in Jurassic Park, "Don't get cheap on me Wilpon."

Mets 2008: The Movie

The Mets 2008 season was pretty epic. It had everything: manager and coach firings, washed up players finding new life, rookies making a big impact, a new stadium built, an awful collapse, etc. It would make for one long, over-the-top feature length film. I imagine it being 4 hours in length, and only the most diehard of Met fans would pay money to watch it. I thought it would be fun to put together a list of actors who would play each character in the film. My vision of the film has the season viewed through the eyes of Gary Cohen, Keith Hernandez, and Ron Darling. Naturally I picked some of the strongest actors around for these roles. Here goes, with runners-up in parentheses:

Announcers:
Gary Cohen – Kevin Spacey
Keith Hernandez – Daniel Day-Lews
Ron Darling – Robert Downey Jr.
Kevin Burkhardt – Christian Bale

Front Office/Coaching Staff:
Fred Wilpon - Ed Harris
Jeff Wilpon - Matt Dillon
Omar Minaya - a tossup between Terence Howard and Edward James Olmos
Willie Randolph - Ernie Hudson
Jerry Manuel - Don Cheadle
Rick Peterson - Willem Dafoe
Howard Johnson - John C. Reilly
Ken Oberkfell - Wilford Brimley
Luis Agoayo - Erik Estrada

Starting Pitchers:
Johan Santana - Benjamin Bratt (Joaquin Phoenix)
Mike Pelfrey – John Krasinski
John Maine – Ben Foster
Oliver Perez – Lou Diamond Phillips (James Franco)
Pedro Martinez – Jamie Foxx
Jon Niese – Anton Yelchin

Bullpen:
Billy Wagner – Aaron Eckhart
Aaron Heilman – Edward Norton (in the toughest, darkest role of the movie; Paul Bettany a close second)
Scott Schoeneweis – Mark Wahlberg (Sean Bean)
Joe Smith – Ryan Gosling
Pedro Feliciano – John Leguizamo
Brian Stokes – Freddie Prinze Jr.
Bobby Parnell – Topher Grace
Nelson Figueroa – Javier Bardem
Luis Ayala – Mario Lopez
Jorge Sosa – Alfonso Ribeiro
Matt Wise – Anthony Edwards

Infield:
David Wright – Zac Efron (Tobey Maguire, Jake Gyllenhaal, Jared Leto, Frankie Muniz)
Jose Reyes – T.I.
Luis Castillo – Naveen Andrews
Carlos Delgado – Dennis Haysbert (he played Pedro Cerrano in the "Major League" trilogy, and Delgado is basically a lefty Cerrano)
Ramon Martinez – Bobby Cannavale
Argenis Reyes – Jay Hernandez
Damion Easley – Kirk Acevedo

Catchers:
Brian Schneider – Josh Lucas
Ramon Castro – Jorge Garcia (Fat Joe)
Robinson Cancel – Jimmy Smits

Outfield:
Carlos Beltran – Michael Pena
Ryan Church – Matthew Fox
Fernando Tatis – Daniel Sunjata
Daniel Murphy – Shia LeBouf
Nick Evans – Justin Long
Endy Chavez – Wilmer Valderrama
Marlon Anderson – Harold Perrineau

Other:
Jimmy Rollins – Mos Def
Chase Utley – Josh Hartnett
Ryan Howard – Derek Luke
Charlie Manuel – Terry O’Quinn (Gene Hackman, Donald Sutherland runners-up)
Tom Glavine – Guy Pearce
Chipper Jones – Brendan Fraser
Lastings Milledge - Lil' Wayne

Budget for the film will be upwards of $250 million, mostly comprised of the actors’ salaries. No title yet, but I’m thinking “The Departed”, because the ending is similar to the 2006 Best Picture winner. Feel free to comment on good choices, bad choices, or suggestions for roles.

The Mets' 25th Hour

I'm usually reasonable and level headed towards the sports teams I follow. I'm generally able to retain my rationality, reminding myself that it's just a game when my team loses. However, the 2008 Mets have brought out the worst in me, perhaps because I was at the "Shea Goodbye" finale. I need an outlet for this frustration. The result is this one-time-only absurdly negative post. So, with a nod to this scene starring Edward Norton from Spike Lee's film "25th Hour", here is my soliloquy on the '08 Mets. Apologies for the excessive expletives, if that bothers you:

"Fuck the 2008 Mets.

Fuck Scott Schoeneweis… Omar Minaya passed on re-signing Chad Bradford for you? If you don’t want to get booed on opening day, why don’t you learn how to get out righthanded batters and strand some inherited runners.

Fuck Pedro Martinez… $53 million for a 32-23 record, 3.88 ERA, and an absolutely awful 2008.

Fuck worthless Marlon Anderson and his transition from 'best pinch hitter on the planet' to 'worst hitter in baseball.'

Fuck meatball tossing Duaner Sanchez… your Florida cab ride happened 2.5 years ago – move the f*ck on!

Fuck emotionless, champagne-popping, “True Yankee” Willie Randolph.

Fuck Ryan Church… you can’t control bad-luck injuries, but you can control an atrocious .220/.305/.307 August and September.

Fuck Luis Castillo… you absolutely killed the Mets down the stretch with inability to hit the ball out of the infield and your non-stop rally killing outs. And don’t get me started on Argenis Reyes, cause he makes Luis Castillo look good.

Fuck the Wilpons… these are the NEW YORK METS not the BROOKLYN DODGERS. Why is Citi Field becoming Ebbets Field North? You guys are the only ones calling for 4 more years of Omar Minaya.

Fuck $15 parking, $8.00 for a beer, and $5.75 a hot dog. You think Fred and Jeff Wilpon didn’t approve those prices? Give me a fuckin’ break.

Fuck Carlos Beltran… a great season, but when you guarantee 1st place in the NL East in spring training, you and your mates better back it up.

Fuck Luis Ayala for making Greg Norton look like Chipper Jones.

Fuck Luis Aguayo… you give every runner the green light for 3 months, then decide to hold up Carlos Delgado with the season on the line vs. the Cubs?

Fuck Citi Field… what use is a new stadium when no one wants to watch the team playing in it? Economic crisis? Let’s raise ticket prices!

Fuck tobacco chompin’, save blowing, always-got-something-to-say Billy Wagner.

Fuck Aaron “Home Run” Heilman… I was once your biggest defender, but this season was an unmitigated disaster. 5.45 BB/9 and 1.18 HR/9 ain’t gonna cut it buddy.

Fuck Brian Schneider for mailing it in from April to July.

Fuck Jose Reyes… an otherwise terrific season marred by a 2-13 final weekend. Get your shit together next September Jose.

Fuck Carlos Delgado… the MVP of the 2nd half, LVP of the 1st half. Your opening month .632 OPS didn’t help the cause.

While we’re at it, fuck Moises Alou and El Duque, they got off easy. A season on the DL, rehab at home, and comfortable retirement to look forward to.

Fuck Oliver Perez… Scott Boras wants $15 million a year for you? I’ve got exhibits A, B, C and D why you and your 98 ERA+ are worth half that.

Fuck Omar Minaya… the bullpen was the biggest culprit in 2007, so what did you do last offseason? You added non-factor Matt Wise and otherwise stood pat. Surprise, surprise, the bullpen was even WORSE in 2008. Ace in the hole Brian Stokes nearly saved your failure to improve the ‘pen.

And fuck David Wright… biggest star on the Mets, the face of the franchise. Yet somehow with none out, man on 3rd, bottom of the 9th, you can’t even lift a ball into the OF for a sac fly? Stare at that .243 BA w/RISP in the batting cage this offseason.

From the nosebleeds in the upper deck to the corporate field boxes; from the picnic area to the mezzanine; from the Home Run Apple to the skyboxes; from the 7 Train to the Loge; on the names of 4,000,000+ fans who came to watch Met baseball in 2008, let Shea Stadium burn to the ground."

I almost feel bad for putting this out on the Internet. A lot of these guys had really great seasons (Wright, Beltran, Delgado), and others had not-bad seasons (Perez, Church, Schneider). I'm glad to get that out of my system.

Friday, September 19 Game Thoughts: Mets 9 - Braves 5

Meaningful September baseball is a lot more fun when the Mets win, isn’t it? Daniel Murphy’s pinch hit 2-run double in the 8th opened the floodgates off of 68 year old Julian Tavarez, and the bullpen closed it out despite some sloppy defense. This was the Mets first win in Atlanta this season. Here are your game thoughts:

- Jose Reyes set the tone for the 2nd time this week with a homer to start the game. Minus his throwing error in the 7th, Jose had a brilliant game.

- “Daniel Murphy is unbelievable isn’t he?” – Ron Darling. That about sums it up. He’s living a blessed existence right now, and even made it safe into 2nd base after getting caught in a pickle following his pinch hit double.

- Lately, the Mets bullpen reminds me of an action movie, where one henchman after another go after the good guy and get unceremoniously peaced (the Mets relievers are the henchman). Movie scenes that come to mind: the Crazy 88 vs. Uma Thurman in "Kill Bill"; the Foot Clan vs. the Ninja Turtles; a bunch of gladiators vs. Russell Crowe in "Gladiator" ("Are you not entertained?!"); 118 soldiers vs. Christian Bale in "Equilibrium". I could probably go on all night with this. The ‘pen did pitch well tonight for a change.

- Aaron Heilman picked up probably his biggest out of the year, striking out Omar Infante (the only batter he faced) in the 7th with 2 men on. Maybe Heilman could be useful against righties the rest of the way?

- Funny sight #1: Murphy standing behind Jerry Manuel with a bat in his hand in the dugout during the 8th inning. He looked like a Little Leaguer who wants to be put in the game.

- Funny sight #2: The bullpen camera caught Pedro Feliciano doing some absurd stretching as Nelson Figueroa warmed up. Keith Hernandez on the funny looking stretching: “What is this, Swan Lake?”

The Mets are back in first – for now - after the Phillies lost. The lead is just a half game though. The Brewers got clobbered by the Reds, and are showing no signs of playing winning baseball. They’re bumping up C.C. Sabathia to pitch on 3 days rest, in a last ditch effort to destroy C.C.’s elbow before he departs for free agency, and also to try and win the Wild Card.

Pedro Martinez starts tomorrow. He has been dreadful of late, with a 7.29 ERA and 1.76 WHIP in his last 4 starts. His Braves counterpart, Jorge Campillo, has been just as bad. He has a 6.75 ERA and 1.87 WHIP in his last 4 starts. Look for a high scoring affair.

Tuesday, September 2 Game Thoughts: Mets 6 - Brewers 5

The Mets beat Brewers for the 2nd day in a row, and continued to raise their fans' blood pressure. Jon Niese's debut was a disaster, and I'll post more about it tomorrow. A brief pregame shot of Niese said it all – he was sitting in the dugout alone, head buried in his hat. I don’t know what was going on, but it was an incredibly uninspiring pose for a guy who was to take the mound momentarily. (Side Note: It was probably more inspiring than the time I threw up before pitching a high school game... although that was due more to eating McDonald's for lunch than nerves. I went 5 IP, 1 ER, 6 K's that day vs. last place Wheatley HS) Here are your game thoughts:

- Carlos Beltran’s 3 run homer looked like a popup. It reminded me of Randy Quaid and co. in Major League II: “It’s too high, it can’t be gone”. Click here for my favorite scene from ML2, which features Brewers announcer Bob Uecker.
(***EDIT***: An astute reader pointed out that the "too high" line I referenced from "Major League 2" was actually said in "Major League", and not by Randy Quaid. I don't know how I blew that one, as I've seen both like 30 times. Good catch.)

- Why the HELL is catcher/nose tackle Robinson Cancel attempting to steal bases?!?!?

- It doesn’t get any better than watching Endy Chavez in the OF. His gundown of Rickie Weeks at 2nd in the 8th inning helped keep the game tied. Great defense all around in this game, including Beltran throwing out Ryan Braun at home in the 4th.

- All hail sweet swinging Dan Murphy, who scored on Endy’s sac fly after leading off the 10th with a pinch hit line-drive single.

- I’ve invented an incredibly clever label for game thoughts when the bullpen pitched great: "bullpen brilliance". Tonight was probably the pen’s best performance of the year, as (deep breath) Nelson Figueroa, Duaner Sanchez, Brian Stokes, Pedro Feliciano, Joe Smith, and Luis Ayala pitched 7 scoreless. That’s SEVEN scoreless by the Mets bullpen. Of course Ayala tried his best for the "bullpen horror show" label, but it was not to be.

- Rickie Weeks on the season: .233/.335/.390 for a .725 OPS, 12 HR
Weeks vs. Mets, 5 games and 24 PA’s: .368/.500/.842 for a 1.342 OPS, 3 HR

Oliver Perez has pitched solidly since Dan Warthen’s promotion to pitching coach. However, his walks are still a concern (11 in his last 18.2 IP). He cannot afford to give the free-swinging Brewers free passes Wednesday afternoon.